Discovering Your How.

It's not what we do. It's how we do it.
Along with what you believe about yourself.
~Sabina Arts

I believed that I would never complete my educational degree. I tried before, and it just never worked out. The first time, it wasn't really my fault - I had to make a decision of a lifetime and prioritize immigration and "lose a small war, but win the big one." Although, now that I think about it looking back, the major wasn't quite right, and I can see the influence of my family on my career decisions.

The second time, I believed that I would never pass TOEFL in order to be admitted to the university, so I had to give up the idea of completing my degree. The third time, two years later, however, after completing an ESL program, I was ready TO TRY one more time. TOEFL wasn’t required, as it was through the city colleges of Chicago. It was a similar major, but it didn't work out as well. I was just recently hit by a car and recovered from health issues related to it, along with financial difficulties. Although I have to admit that it wasn't quite right either. The third time, I spent two years studying a major I thought I liked… however, in the end, I couldn't bring myself to bring this knowledge into the workspace. Even into my heart space. It felt boring and not right for me. I lost hope after few more attempts.

Now that I think about it - I had good reasons to postpone my education, didn't I ? Imigration, financial problems, health issues…

However, those weren't good enough reasons for me. I had a message deep inside within me that I carried throughout my life. Not sure whether it is the society that planted it in me or my "budgetary municipal school" where we were taught every day that nothing will ever work out for us. Which is pretty much a strategy of my culture - break a person, and if he/she didn't succumb to the pressure - phoenix will be reborn. Cruel, I have to say. Although, worked for me, but not for many others. But anyways.

I spent at least 11 years trying to solve this puzzle, and I did. Not to mention that I am just 2 weeks away from completing my first EVER educational degree - Bachelor of Science in Psychology. God knows I went through hell to have it - both psychological and emotional. Also, financial kind of. :)

It's not that I solemnly believe in the traditional system of education and career building. Not at 100%. But it's the fact that “I am not good enough to have it” what really added a percentage to me rejecting this system. If you don't fit - you reject. Even though I tried breaking myself to fit in.

But you know what I learned? It's not what - it's HOW.

Where, in the example of education, it is also WHAT.

First. No - you can't be excited in the same way with different majors. Something you are more prone to, more interested in - naturally, your success rate is higher! Even though if one major, such as IT nowadays, could promise a financially stable job - money motivation is not for everybody. People with higher potential for artistic skills will be especially feeling this inner betrayal of self - which will make them so miserable, no money will ever help them recover from physical and emotional illnesses, like it happened to me in the past.
Second. HOW - is much more important than you think. I have certain beliefs I am not willing to give up - I found a university - one of a kind. I love the way they treat students. I love things they believe in about culture, religion, neurodiversity, equity, and justice - everything pretty much. I love them stepping away from traditional rigid beliefs about people, psyche, science, education. It is new. I guess that's why it's called California Institute of Integral Studies. I am proud to be a part of this community.

And that's the thing. Do I feel successful - yes! Did I prove myself as successful - yes! Could I have done it in any other institutions? Not sure. Is it the whole "how it happened" that motivated me to go forward - I only can speak out and write about things I deeply believe in. Every word of my professors resonated with me deep inside - that's what drove me all the way to the finish line.

Third. Another "HOW." How things are happening is more important than you can imagine. I was never diagnosed, but judging from people's opinions and looking at me and my character - most likely, I have ADHD. Sitting against my will brings me physical and emotional pain of a higher level. Concentrating and reading when it doesn't feel like I can - is a trout. Hybrid education - where I read in the down dog position, singing out loud, listening to psychedelic music with Speechify reading text for me out loud while I read a physical/ebook with my eyes - is the way of my HOW. I was never allowed such luxury in my home country - that's how I was constantly punished, put down emotionally, and called "stupid" a lot of times. But I was never stupid - I was simply neurodivergent. It's not an illness, you see - it's how I am. Does it mean that I should be restricted the right to have education? No. That's why I found my HOW.

Lastly, if you have some negative inner beliefs about yourself, then even financial and health problems will be your ultimate justification for why you are stupid and can't finish your degree, rather than justified and temporary obstacles. Do not let those negative inner messages rule over you.

So, I encourage my reader to know what they want. And to know that they can. Life happens, perhaps you still haven't accomplished things you dream about. You simply need to find your HOW. How to do it. And in the example of education and career - what. It is much more important than you believe! I promise once you discover it - your personal success story awaits you.