Shaping your own normal
More than anything in the world, I like to leave where I’ve been for something new. That relates to the previous version of me, relationships with people, the place I live, and the things I do. That’s who I am. I’m always hungry for something new, something interesting to learn, to try, to experience, to see, to taste. Life for me is a playground where I get to experiment, have fun, taste things, meet people, and have experiences.
I tried not to live this way for a few years. I was afraid I am not normal…
Very quickly, that life made me bitter, but also physically and emotionally ill.
Although, I have to admit I always feel sad leaving behind things/people/places, etc - feeling emotions means being human. That’s exactly how I feel right now moving away from the apartment I lived in for 2 years, city where I lived, habits I created, people I met. But I have to be myself.
This all remind me how in 2012, for the first time, I had to say biggest “GOOD BYE” and start life fresh in America as a 20-year-old. There are relatives, family members, and friends I haven’t seen in a decade—this is honestly sad, but this is the choice I make every day. I just have to be ME. And if no one is willing to live at the speed and rhythm that is okay for me, then I need to go alone and prioritize myself. Egoistic? I don’t think so. If someone would think that it’s okay for me and my life to fade away for them then it’s them who are egoistic. Thriving and choosing to be myself—it’s natural. It’s like breathing. Would you consider the desire for freedom of breathing an egoistic thing to do? It sounds absurd to me.
Same here. This is where the world is heading, and the sooner you start, the sooner you learn about yourself, the sooner you integrate into the upcoming ways of life where one size fits most does not work anymore. We all are entering the era of individualization where each and everyone will decide their own normal. If only being yourself is considered an easy thing to do.Being yourself should be natural like breathing, right?
Although most people are drifted so far away from their nature just because they were conditioned to be somebody else ever since they were little kids. The world used to be different. I heard one mother once said about her child: “He better off learn the way of humanity now, change and adapt. I don’t want him to struggle in fitting in later in adulthood - I have to make him learn how to adjust.” Out of love and protection, we were all made to fit - so we are never rejected. The only problem here is that we learned to reject our own selves and how to be somebody else. This is why being yourself now is like a thing you need to educate yourself about.
You got to create you won normal - and it’s all deeply customizable, we all have different priorities, interest, preferences, even energy types of out bodies.
Remember - Suffering is not normal. Tired, exhausted, occasionally sick, older than the age, always speaking about popular trends just because you you have to—that’s the picture of the "normal" human being, but inside "deeply wounded" and suffering. If you suffer in you life, relationship, career - you are not living you authentic self life, you are not being who you are. There a a better fit to you and I am speaking of any realms of your life. Life can be satisfying and fulfilling . It’s out there ready for you to be explored.
Myself - I made a commitment to being who I am a long time ago—yes, there come sacrifices as the ones I‘ve mentioned above. But remember - you don’t have to be like me. Being yours does not mean travel the world, break commitments, constantly explore, and not have a stable corporate job—that’s not the definition of a new normal, that’s the definition of mine. That’s my normal. That’s my authentic self life.
If you see me living like that and inventing you to discover you authentic self - that doesn't mean you will suddenly just like me live thins behind ans runaway to Africa! LOL Do not worry.
You got to figure out yourself what’s your normal—even a small change will help you to make small adjustments in your life for a better fit. You are invited every day to make your box bigger than it is right now. If you work in corporate, if you are a mom, if you have things/people/processes depending on you—that does not mean you drop everything and run away alone to Africa, you got that right ? lol
Also when you afraid about sudden and scary changes.That’s your control and exaggeration speaking. Most people are not interested in exploring themselves just because they're afraid to lose control—you will not. Trust me.
There, in that change—once you make that decision—you will start with small adjustments to have a life tailored to YOU, your needs, desires, dreams. For me, it is not rocket science. I always see people not living a life authentically—it takes me one conversation to see misfits. I read it through the body of a person and I read people’s energies.
It doesn’t matter if you are a coach, mentor, teacher yourself—we all have biases from our conditioned minds. That’s why I always work with coaches and mentors myself. We all need people who will hold us in the space of transformation. And even though I can immediately see people not being themselves living in illusion, I couldn’t do it for myself, so it’s normal to seek help and support when you want a transformative life like that.
Remember, every day is a good day to be yourself— you just have to make that choice.